


Young and You Want Some

by GlitterAndDoom



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Teen Sex, Community: sohotoutthebed, Fluff, Frottage, Loss of Virginity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:37:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterAndDoom/pseuds/GlitterAndDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sauli Problem, as he named it in his head, was far more important, and Adam knew as much about solving that as he did about geometry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Young and You Want Some

**Author's Note:**

  * For [i_amthecosmos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/gifts).



> Written for the [So Hot Out the Bed Valentine's Day Porn Exchange](http://sohotoutthebed.dreamwidth.org). _HUGE_ thank you to my beta leela_cat for stepping in at the last minute. Title is from Mika's "We Are Golden."
> 
> In this, both boys are 18. Whee, authorial handwaving! *waves* They're also the dorkiest awkward bb preshdorks _ever._ brandnewinformation.gif So this was extra-fun to write.

Sauli Koskinen was exactly what he wanted in a boyfriend.

"He doesn't like-like me," Adam insisted, and took a sip of his Coke. Across the booth, Danielle rolled her eyes. "He _doesn't!_ "

"Sweetie, you're an idiot."

Adam gave her a derisive glare, and picked up another slice of pizza he didn't need and took a bite he didn't want, just to keep from talking. He wasn't having this conversation. He _wasn't_. Not then, not later, not next week...

"He's _crazy_ about you."

Adam swallowed and wiped his face with a napkin. " _Something's_ crazy right now, and it's not how he _totally doesn't_ feel about me." Sauli was a bit strange, too, but he and Sauli weren't part of the same crowd. Not even close, unfortunately. For some things, friendship didn't matter, and Danielle didn't get it. He crushed the greasy napkin into a ball. "I am _really_ not his type."

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? How he's always smiling—"

Except, apparently, he _was_ having this conversation. Again. Over Sauli. "He smiles at _everyone_."

" _Not_ like that."

Adam sighed. "He's probably not even gay." Surely Adam wasn't that lucky? "He's a friend. Like you. Why would I wanna screw that up?"

"Gee, I don't know—to be happy?"

Shaking his head in disbelief, Adam slid toward the end of the booth. "Look, I've gotta go," he said, and added, "Got a big test tomorrow."

She snorted. "Liar. You just don't wanna talk about—"

"No, I don't." He held up the bill. "Gonna get anything else?"

She shook her head, and he stood, but before he could walk off to pay, she gently grabbed him by the wrist. "Adam," she said, softly, "I wouldn't lie to you. Ask him out. He _likes_ you. _Like-likes_ you."

"Right," he said, and gave her a sad smile. "If he's even... _like me_." Adam waved a hand vaguely. "Then why would he want _me?_ "

Before she replied with some crap meant to boost his self-esteem, he walked away and paid. As he left the restaurant, he tried to force the conversation from his mind. If she was right...

No. There was no way she was right. No way. No fucking way. He wasn't stupid, and he would not let himself hope.

But he _wanted_ to hope. Sauli was cute as hell, and friendly, and sweet to everyone—that was all it was, wasn't it? Sauli being a bit too nice to him sometimes, and Danielle seeing what she wanted to see.

Before he could help it, he caught a glimpse of himself in the window of his clunker, and he heaved a heavy sigh and hurried into the car. God, Danielle _was_ ridiculous. Even if he did lose the weight somehow, there would still be all that acne and those freckles and the damn ginger hair. Those were _not cool_.

Never mind that Sauli had freckles. Sauli's looked _good_. His own, though...

"Ugh. _Not_ doing this." He yanked his keys from his pocket and shoved the key into the ignition. He was eighteen. He was too old for this shit. They would be graduating in a month, and Sauli would be moving back to Finland. _Time to get realistic_ , his father and his smug little shit of a brother would probably tell him. And they would probably be right, in this case.

But—and there was always, _always_ a but—what if he was wrong? What if, just once, he could have who he wanted?

"No," he told himself. "You _can't_."

But.

*

If he could ignore the lurid pornography of his dreams, he could push Sauli out of his mind, he figured. The more he tried to ignore his _friend—_ really, that was all Sauli was, and all that he would ever be—the more he couldn't. Sauli belonged in the neat little box labeled "ADORABLE FRIEND" in thick black marker—nowhere else.

"God." Adam let out a frustrated huff, then closed his eyes and tried to conjure another man's face in his mind. But no matter how many porn stars and pop stars and movie stars flashed across his vision, his brain and throbbing cock kept returning to bright eyes and a brilliant smile.

If he couldn't have Sauli in reality, he could have him here. He ignored the guilt pooling like lead in his belly with each slide and twist of hand, and went with it. He imagined firm muscles and soft skin, a hot mouth wrapped tight around his cock, soft licks and deep sucks, a glimpse of loving blue eyes.

The eyes did it. He bit his lip and came with a muffled shout, and hoped the shower washed away the feelings.

It didn't.

After he finished, he hurried through drying and getting dressed, and tried to avoid seeing his burning face in the fogged mirror.

School was worse.

"How am I supposed to avoid him?" he asked Danielle, and she frowned at him in confusion.

"Why would you want to avoid him? Don't you— _oh_." Adam's face felt hot, and she gave him a knowing smile. "You really _do_ like him."

"I—shh." He saw long blond hair through the corner of his eyes, but it turned out to be a young freshman girl, not _him_. Danielle laughed, and he glared. "Shut up."

She laughed harder, because she was a terrible best friend. "Paranoid?" Adam glowered, but she kept smirking as she closed her locker door with her hip. "It's okay. Really. I'm not wrong."

"You don't know that." But there was something in her smile as she turned and started down the hall. "You _don't!_ " His stomach dropped. "You didn't..." He hurried after her. "You didn't _ask_ , did you?"

Her silence was enough. "You asked."

"He asked me, and I replied. Honestly." She shrugged. "You can thank me later!"

Adam stopped. Fuck. _Fuck_. She'd asked. God, why couldn't the floor just open up and swallow him whole right there?

"You're not my best friend anymore," he said, weakly, but she was already gone, and she'd know he didn't mean it anyway.

Dazed, he watched her go, until someone slammed into his shoulder and said, "Move it, loser." He shook off his shock and humiliation as much as he could, and hurried off to math class, half-hoping Sauli wouldn't be there, half-hoping he would.

He was, but, thankfully, the seats beside him were taken. Adam breathed a sigh of relief and slipped in near the back, ducking his head. He glanced up once, at the assignment board, and caught Sauli watching him. Sauli gave him a smile that was surprisingly shy, then quickly looked away, and, for a moment, Adam wondered if...

Oh. _Oh_. Danielle wasn't lying, then.

After that, class dragged on forever. Adam gave up on paying attention to the teacher midway through, and absently doodled in the margin of his notes instead. He wasn't that much of an artist, he thought, but once he finished the hair, it didn't take much to tell who he was drawing. He cringed. God, that was barely a step over writing AL+SK=♥ all over his notebook, like Danielle did over many of her most ill-advised crushes.

Was it still a crush if there was a chance of reciprocation, he wondered, or did it even matter what he called it?

Nevertheless, he scribbled over the drawing with his pencil and scrawled down a few halfhearted notes. Danielle would give him the rest later, after her own class, and, really, he never understood them until someone else explained. The Sauli Problem, as he named it in his head, was far more important, and he knew as much about solving that as he did about geometry.

 _Ask him out_ , his mind insisted, sounding suspiciously like Danielle. Was it really that simple? He could try.

When the bell finally rang, he gathered his things and waited near the door until Sauli stepped out. Adam tapped his arm lightly, and Sauli's freckle-dotted cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink when his eyes met Adam's.

"Yes?" Sauli asked, voice higher than usual.

"I..." The rest of Adam's sentence died in his throat, and his face burned hot. He worked his mouth silently, trying to find words that wouldn't come.

"Adam," Sauli said, with a gentle, chiding laugh, and, god, Adam loved the way Sauli said his name, "we need to go to class."

Before Adam even knew what he was saying, the words, "Fuck class," tumbled out of his mouth, carrying his pounding heart. "Let's go somewhere else. Somewhere roman...private. Somewhere private." 

Sauli's face fell. He looked as uncertain as Adam felt, lips twisted in a worried frown. Shit. Adam started bracing himself for rejection. He'd tell him _No, don't worry about it. Just a joke. Pretend I never said anything._ Then, Sauli asked, "Will we not get caught?"

Adam let out a sigh of relief. "No way," he said, trying to sound confident, and started down the hall, Sauli by his side. "Just have to be careful. I do it all the time." Except that was a complete lie. He'd skipped school by faking illness so often that his mom wanted to take him to the doctor and Neil kept asking if he was pregnant, but he'd never left like this.

Apparently, Sauli saw straight through him. "Right," he said, with a knowing smirk, and Adam couldn't help but smile back.

Though Adam hadn't skipped class before, he'd known plenty of people who had, and had paid close attention to their tips. Still, he didn't breathe until they finally left the parking lot and got far from the school. Except then came the hard part.

He was alone in a car with _Sauli_ , right after kinda-sorta-maybe confirming he had a crush on him. Normally, Sauli was incredibly easy to talk to, always chattering about something, eyes sparkling, hands waving, words electric with enthusiasm. This time, he was staring at his lap and fidgeting, and chewing on his lip, and Adam was just as lost.

"So," Adam said, tapping thoughtfully on the steering wheel, and hoped to break the tension. Sauli glanced up at him. "Where should we go?"

Sauli chuckled. "You have no plan?"

"Well..." Adam shrugged. "Not really? I was gonna, like, ask you out maybe, and—you don't have a problem with that, do you? I mean..."

Sauli threw his head back and laughed. "Only that it took you so long. I was starting to wonder if you did not want me, or that I was imagining—"

"Not want _you?_ " This time, Adam was the one who laughed. "I figured you wouldn't want _me_. Like, _seriously_. I'm not exactly—"

"Hush. You are wonderful. But maddening. You made me worry." Sauli scowled. "We have missed too much time together."

"Yeah." Adam winced. "Kinda dumb, huh?"

"Kind of? Oh, Adam." Sauli shook his head and muttered something in Finnish, then said, "Well. We need to catch up quick then, yes?"

"I—"

Sauli waggled his eyebrows, and Adam blinked. Was he suggesting... "Yeah. Yeah, we should...would it be totally lame if I suggested we go back to my house? My parents aren't gonna be home, but, you know..."

"Yes. Nor will mine." But Sauli was smiling again, in spite of Adam's profound uncoolness, and it made him relax. "But I was going to suggest going to a park or buying ice cream, which is also not cool...but some _privacy_ would be nice."

Adam turned toward Sauli, who gave him a look of feigned innocence before reaching over to turn on the radio. His stomach flipped, and, suddenly, he was incredibly grateful for the seatbelt over his lap. "It would? Why?"

Sauli looked pointedly at Adam's crotch, then shrugged nonchalantly and leaned back in the seat. "Oh, no reason. I am quite _easy_ —" Adam coughed. "—to _please._ " Sauli _was_ suggesting that, then.

Adam choked.

"That...shit." When Adam finally regained his composure, he said, "That sounds like..."

"I know exactly what it sounds like." Sauli quirked his lips. "It is _meant_ to sound like that. We have bought dinner for each other, we have exchanged gifts, we are close—why keep waiting?"

"What?" Adam looked at him, confused. "We've—wait. We've...never officially done anything like dating, or..."

"But we have come close, yes?" Sauli smiled wistfully. "I won't be here much longer. If we had more time, I would _love_ to date. Can we not just pretend that—"

"—the things we've done as friends are boyfriend-y things?" Adam finished, and Sauli nodded. "Well, I guess...are you sure?"

Again, Sauli nodded. "I do not need this to be fancy. And, I think," Sauli swallowed, "I think we...I think I am ready. Are you?"

"Yeah." Adam stepped on the gas. "I think we are."

*

By the time they got close to his house, Adam couldn't stop the giddiness bubbling inside him. A gorgeous boy wanted to be with _him_ , and that gorgeous boy was _Sauli_. He couldn't stop grinning, and stole quick glances Sauli's way whenever he got the chance.

Then, he spotted his mom's car in the driveway.

"Fuck!" He slammed on the brakes, and his heart plummeted through the floor. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ "

"What?" Sauli's eyes were wide with concern. "Adam, what?"

"My _mom_." He pointed toward the car. "See? Her car. Shit."

"So?"

"So, what if she sees us? What if she's already seen us? And we're not gonna be able to sneak in, or—"

"Adam," Sauli interrupted, in a patient tone, "she probably has not seen us." He squeezed Adam's knee, and Adam's thoughts slowed to a halt. "It is all right. We will go somewhere else. Like the park."

"I thought you wanted...but we can't— _you know_ ," he stammered, blushing, "at the park."

Sauli chuckled, and shook his head. "Oh, Adam, you really are adorable." Then, he leaned over and kissed Adam's cheek, and Adam's heart didn't skip a beat—it did a fucking backflip. "I will do that again properly later," Sauli said, and pressed another kiss near the corner of his lips, then sank back into his seat.

Adam reached up and touched the spot Sauli kissed, mouth curling into a smile. "Yeah?"

"Yes. Now drive."

Adam did. As he drove, Sauli began to hum with the music, voice terribly out of tune, and Adam started to say something ridiculous like, _You're adorable-er!_ Instead, he listened along, enjoying Sauli's joy more than the song.

Then, suddenly, Sauli clapped his hands together and said, "We should have a picnic when we get there!" with such enthusiasm that Adam couldn't help but laugh. "What?" Sauli's face fell. "Is it not a good idea?"

"No, no—it's a great idea!" Adam hurried to say. "I just—you're kinda cute when you're excited. I like it." Inside, he berated himself for being such a loser and a sap, but his words brought back Sauli's smile. "Wow." Adam shook his head. "You must really think I am hopelessly lame now..."

"I do not. You are not 'cool,' but I am not, either. Is good. You make me comfortable."

Adam's heart squeezed in his chest. He'd heard so many versions of that—sweet, cute, comfortable. Never "beautiful" or "sexy," never—

"Adam?" Sauli looked at him with concern. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No." Adam shook his head, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe—"

"Pull over?" Sauli pointed toward the empty parking lot of a closed restaurant. Adam hesitated. "Please?"

Adam sighed, but he drove in and parked in a space near the back. "What—" He turned his head, and his forehead smacked painfully into Sauli's. "Ow!" Sauli jerked back, wincing, and Adam rubbed his stinging head. "What were you—"

"I was going to kiss you properly and did not want us to die on the road!" Sauli huffed, and slumped in his seat. "Do you not like me, too? Not as much?" Adam bit his lip and ducked his head, unable to face Sauli's disappointed face and the knowledge that he'd put that look there _again_. "Because I like you, and I thought you felt the same, but if you do not..."

"How could you like _me?_ I..." Adam swallowed, but the lump in his throat did not fade. "I'm not that smart. I'm not good looking, I'm not popular or cool or rich or—"

He was cut off by Sauli, who reached over and clamped a hand over his mouth, and gave him a stern look. "I am none of those things," Sauli said, "and I disagree that you are not smart or good looking." His gaze softened, and he slid his hand aside and traced his thumb over Adam's bottom lip. "You are clever and creative and perceptive and lovely." He caressed Adam's cheek. "You have beautiful eyes and a beautiful heart. And the way you light up when you sing? Your voice is more special than I could ever dream of being."

"That's not t—"

"Shh. You are kind and sweet and funny, and I would like to share something like this with a friend and a person as special as you."

"Aww." Adam beamed. "Oh my God."

"And I would really like to kiss you, if that is not a problem?"

It wasn't a perfect kiss. Teeth clashed, noses bumped, lips slid awkwardly across wet lips, messy and uncomfortable and _beautiful._ Sauli's hands twisted tight in his hair, the seatbelt dug painfully into the softness of his belly, he could hardly breathe, but he didn't care, not with the heat building deep inside and the warm wonder of Sauli's body in his arms. He was kissing someone. Him! And instead of a female friend, it was gorgeous, wonderful Sauli, who was kissing him back with equal passion, even though he probably tasted like stale coffee, God, why'd he think that lone breath mint afterwards had been enough?

They broke apart, panting, and Sauli grinned at him, face flushed and radiant, and slid his hands down Adam's chest. "I want to touch," Sauli said, voice breathy, and Adam sucked in his stomach as those wandering hands drifted lower, and slipped beneath his shirt, making sensitive skin and muscles twitch. "Want to kiss." He leaned back in and nipped Adam's lips, and Adam met him eagerly, wanting more and everything, all of it now, before the chance slipped away again. "Want—"

Sauli ground against him and moaned, and the breath left Adam's lungs in a rush. _God_ , he could feel the swell of Sauli's cock through his jeans, just for _him_ , and he never would've expected it to feel that good, that heady and powerful. But the doubt refused to leave his mind.

"Wait." Adam stopped him, and kicked himself inside for it, but he had to know. "You're not...how the hell are you not nervous?"

Sauli looked at him with wild eyes. "You are only nervous?" Sauli raised his eyebrows. "Because I am terrified, and—why are you smiling?"

"Because I'm scared out of my fucking mind. I keep going, Oh, God, he's gonna change his mind, or we're not gonna be friends anymore, or—"

"—or he may not enjoy this, or he is teasing—"

Adam nodded vigorously. "Or we're gonna get caught, or this is a trick—"

"This is not a trick." Sauli reached up with a trembling hand and stroked Adam's hair, and Adam let out a soft sigh. "I would not hurt you, Adam. Not on purpose."

"And you don't wanna wait? I mean—"

"This is not okay?" Sauli asked. "I thought..."

Somehow, Adam shook his head, and fumbled to free himself from his seatbelt and let the seat back. "Yeah," Adam said, dragging Sauli into another awkward, amazing kiss. "It's good. But, could you..." he let out a nervous laugh. "I like the way you—and I know this is stupid, but could you say my name? Please?"

"You like...Adam." Sauli leaned in, and, voice low and dark, repeated, "Adam," in his ear. The word rolled across Sauli's tongue like Sauli cherished it, making Adam shiver. " _Adam_."

"God," Adam groaned, and arched against him. He could've come just from that, shot off embarrassingly soon from the sound of his name. He was an idiot, but, "I really like to hear you say that."

Sauli giggled. "I sound _silly_."

"Yeah, kinda." Adam kissed him again. "But silly is good." And Sauli said his name like he _cared_.

That meant more than Adam was willing to admit.

"And I make you happy?"

" _Very_."

Sauli's grin turned feral. With an obscene, fractured whine, Sauli thrust against him, digging his fingers and nails into Adam's back, pulling him even closer.

The world narrowed to friction, the rough and tight, too fucking perfect friction of the slow-fast desperate grind between them that twisted deep within Adam's belly and brain. His pulse beat a pounding rhythm in his chest, sound barely matched by the broken breaths of sweat-tinged air that his lungs fought to keep. His muscles burned, legs cramping, body tense and craving more, faster, harder. The world a blur of sweat and sex and noise, gasps of muddled words, urging him on, taking him to the edge, where nothing mattered more than losing control and breaking apart, together.

Before he was ready, it happened.

" _Fuck_ ," he groaned, and he let go, orgasm hitting hard and wet and too fucking soon, overtaxed body wringing out every exquisite moment like it would never happen again, could never happen again. He pulled Sauli into a kiss and dragged him with him, swallowed the moan as Sauli thrust one last time and went still, his body taut in Adam's arms.

Adam continued kissing until Sauli slumped against him, breathless and spent, and as reality came back, so did the questions. What happened next? Should he hold Sauli, keep kissing him, stroke his back, or push him away? What did Sauli want? Would Sauli regret it? Would _he_ regret it? And they were sticky and sweaty and gross, and, God, that would get uncomfortable fast, wouldn't it? Would they go to Sauli's house to clean up, would—

Sap that he was, all his questions faded away when Sauli opened his bright blue eyes and smiled. "Good?" Sauli asked, and snuggled closer.

Adam let out a relieved laugh. " _Very!_ " he shouted, and cringed at his ridiculously excited tone.

Sauli chuckled, and, equally excited, exclaimed "Yay!" and gave Adam's lips a smacking kiss.

**_Epilogue_ **

Time passed.

In the whirlwind of life, Sauli became a cherished memory. They lost touch, and, most of the time, Adam never thought of him. He fucked and loved and lost, let go of his heart and had it returned in pieces, glued it back together and released it again, to chase more love and more elusive dreams.

When he thought of his first, it was never with regret, only peace. They'd had their moment, and it was beautiful but, as were all moments, ephemeral.

Then, Adam became famous, and Sauli turned into a _private_ memory, locked away just for him and the ones who already knew.

"I'm not looking for love," Adam always insisted, whenever reporters asked. "I'd _love_ to find someone special, but I'm so _busy_. It wouldn't be fair."

"That's bullshit," his friends said.

"I'll find someone—when the Universe wants it to happen, it'll happen," Adam replied, and changed the subject to music. Music and friendship and sex, the tour he put together that kept growing bigger and bigger and bigger, the star life he'd wanted since he was a child—that was enough.

Wasn't it?

He laughed when Danielle joked that _u might find sauli lol!_ when he arrived in Finland.

 _he was from finland?_ was Adam's answer.

If his eyes searched the audience more than usual that night, he didn't _really_ notice. Finnish people were gorgeous, and Europe fascinated him. He wasn't looking for anyone in particular. Hell, Sauli might not even remember him, or might not like his songs.

And that ache in his chest when no one at the club caught his eye was just fatigue, or homesickness, or, hey, it could have been garden-variety loneliness, couldn't it?

If the Universe wanted it to happen, it would happen, and, apparently, it didn't.

"I need to get laid," he murmured to himself, words lost in the music, and swallowed the rest of his drink. Then, he looked around, and found a happy-looking blond, who was gesturing wildly with a tattoo-covered arm and laughing with his friends. The blond was tiny and, from a distance, pretty.

"Time for me to head out," Adam told the others, and grinned at their knowing laughs when they saw where he was going. Maybe they'd find someone to spend the night with, too, whether his plan went well or not.

As Adam got closer, the man at the table laughed again, and Adam stopped. He recognized that laugh, that smile, those chiseled cheekbones, those _eyes_. And, suddenly, he was looking into those eyes, bright and blue and clear, and his heart skipped into his throat.

He would thank the stars later, if it ended well. Instead, he smiled, and stepped up to the table.

Sauli smiled back.


End file.
